I hope you get the herp and dife. The emd.
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
just smoked a bowl with my history teacher. i love community college
She told me she couldnt give me head last night because she was running out of listerine
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hooked up with a boy reading dear john, i have to get points for that somewhere
no he gets major points for having a girl hookup with him after reading dear john
Just scheduled a cocaine deal around my drug counsler appointment. Why yes, thank you, I do enjoy the irony that is my life.
about to tell this girl that sh'es my teenage dream. you have 15.358s to stop me.
I'm so covered in bruises. God dammit drunk me. We are a lady.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No she stopped screaming. Now she's eating popcorn. Off a plate. With a spoon.
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
You started an entire relationship based only on sex and emoticons.
Who knows. Maybe the world would be a better place if more people sent their drug dealers thank you cards.
I want to fling myself into the sun
We found you with your penis in the vacum hose crying softly...
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