So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
alright got my week's quota of sex in, ready for modern warfare 2
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
Only way we know if he truly fits in is if we spill straight vodka on the floor and his first instinctnis to lick it up. Otherwise, gameover.
At the bar. Madeline and I totally brought our own pitcher from home because they always run out. Hello alcoholism.
I'm being fed tequila grapes by a girl on stilts...
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
I'm just going to lay in a blanket cocoon of self pity for the next few months.
I'm tellin ya, let the nipple get some air, they'll hire u on the spot, lawyers love a little nip
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
I feel like that japanese guy who ate all the hotdogs. Except replace hotdogs with sailor jerrys. And instead of a trophy and world record I just get a hangover at work
I WANT GRASS AND TREES NOT SOMEONE SWINGING A SWORD AROUND
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