it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
You layed on my kitchen floor with a pile of m&ms at your crotch, said "your lightbulb don't match, is that one new?"
He gets you donuts, dinner, and booze consistently, who cares if he's cheating
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I like when I have the chance to say normal things like 'I know her from college' vs 'I did a ton of blow with her one night at Studio B.'
If you don't come out tonight, who's going to wake us up in the morning because they're fucking in the middle of the room where everyones sleeping?
I just helped a group of highschool stoners find a safe place to smoke I feel like a responsible rolemodel
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
My mom is selling her car. I'm secretly relieved I won't ever have to tell her about that time you puked in it
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I'm sitting in the shotgun seat of my car on full recline trying to pretend everything is ok
My first love was gay too, it's okay.
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
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