We walked in and the first thing we heard was, "OH SHIT! White chicks!" Naturally, I made some new male friends.
Having sex with the stobe light on was the best bad idea I've ever had.
Time to do stuff I know I'll have to hide from my grandkids one day and everyone at next weekends wedding.
pretty sure that drunk girl we saw climbing the stairs is now DJing this club....
I wish they'd wear their tampons on the outside. At least gimme some warning
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
You are not allowed to borrow my car ever again. It smells like a hobo orgy happened in my backseat with a hint of onion. What did you do.
i know it happened because it happened right beside me, and at one point on top of me.
Survival tip #3: while you're hooking up with him, don't say he reminds you of his brother
She said my new name was "ranch" because I "looked delicious"
also, i am in no position to judge as my life choices today went along the lines of "YAY VODKA". for breakfast.
There's a picture of you on facebook laying in the street with 3 cops standing over you after you faceplanted off that guy's shoulders.
Is that what happened to my face?!
Hey my results were negative. Your chlamydia train stops here. Happy hunting!
Um, would you be up for dick jousting? Stefanie is willing to pay 40 bucks.
Sorry dude, one minute I was flirting with a bachelorette party from Dallas and the next I’m being tied to the bed by the bride
Trying to wrangle us an invite to the wedding
Randomize
