FIrst one done
How did it go?
I dunno I taled about women being treated wrong and quoted Ice T. So probably a "c"
Is there any way you can check to see if I have a warrant out in Alabama?
found your viking helmet in the parking lot this morning, its missing a horn. There was still liquor in the remaining horn. shots from a viking helmet should be mandatory.
just asked if they'd gift wrap go-go taquitos for you at 7-eleven
We literally played a game called pass the child which consisted of us shitfaced tossing the 5 year old birthday boy at each other
I DON'T CARE LET'S GET DRUNK AND GO. I STRAIGHTENED MY HAIR DO THIS FOR ME.
I'm pretty sure every guy I've been with this weekend has made a solid attempt at getting me pregnant...
Then you shook your fists at the sky and explained to us that losing a sneeze is like losing an orgasm
Nothing says thanksgiving like acid flashbacks
In the middle of having sex she stopped, said "guess what, it's clitoris awareness week" and then continued fucking me
Can I use your baby to go shoplifting?
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Question for you. Do you want to go out somewhere or do you want to have sloppy joes at my house? That's not a euphemism for anything; I actually have stuff to make sloppy joes
He ain't mine yet. Gotta have a third date before I pee on him and mark territory.
Oh. Wait. That happened on the second date.
You can’t homewreck what the Lord hath brought together.
Randomize
