So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
hey got me stoned for the first time when i was 14. there is no bond stronger
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
underwater hpnotiq shots? sure why not.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
and then the sword just ended up between my legs
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
