so as we were driving to pick up my grandma from old navy she procedes to yell into our open window.. "I'll make ya holla fo a dolla" umm...
Do you think the Slutcracker will use the original score? I'll be so sad if they don't.
I just had a 30 minute fake cell phone conversation with myself just to avoid hooking up with the drunk guy next to me. its like an art form.
I was the last girl at the bar last night. It was like a battle royale between 10 guys.
He wanted to take a picture with our pizza to show his mom that I was pretty but more importantly that he practices in "sober" activities
before we left she put a post-it on the floor next to the toilet saying she was a pretty pretty princess
I just saw him carrying his little sister while walking his puppy. And he was shirtless. I swear my ovaries just exploded
Kristy just reminded me that I have a bottle of champagne to lick off your ass hole...... This is by way of saying that we have plans on Friday.
I happen to have lost a black t-shirt and the volume button from my phone last night. If anyone finds it. You know what to do.
The extent of "getting it in" was this creepy guy sticking his finger in my bellybutton
His dick is magical but I don't want to die in this blizzard do you see my dilemma
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Looks like it rained condoms in my room last night
He was so drunk last night. He woke up out of a dead sleep at 330am, walked over to the dresser, opened his middle drawer and proceeded to pee. When I woke up and asked him Wtf he was doing, he told me it was fake pee and blamed it on the cat...we don't have a cat
So. Much. Porn.
Randomize
