A good Q tip ear swabbing is better than bad sex.
there was a trapeze. enough said
I found a knife in my bed when I got back this morning. I think one of my roommates has it in for me
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
just spent about 3 1/2 hours looking for a dollar so I can buy weed.
suggestion: become a stripper.
its not that she doesnt like having sex with you, your balls just smell worst then your ass.
You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
He's so gross, but the preschooler inside me is screaming that this is her life dream and I have to be with him or she'll never forgive me.
just threw up on my speech test, so much for a great semester
Still trying to wash and scratch the glitter off of my dick. That stripper should be banned.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
Dude. She came to my room in nothing but a trench coat. Took it off and said, "you like" in her Costa Rican accent. God I love college.
Not sure what time I'll be home. I'm currently topless and the damn stripper won't give me my clothes back
So now your dad has seen my tits. You could have told me he was coming by to help paint.
I didn't think you'd be painting the kitchen topless.
I couldn't find a shirt I was willing to ruin.
I'm going to get him a gold star sticker and put it on his dick
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