Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
At least we kept it together. It's people like him who yell at bushes that give acid a bad name
The bouncer was kicking me out and I put up my finger for him to wait while I chugged the rest of my drink..all he could say is "are you serious right now?"
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
At some point I'd like to figure out how the weird kid from sociology ended up on my couch naked hugging what appears to be some sort of clothing....seriously it's creeping me out
Last thing I remember clearly was, "ok, but if we're are gonna get drunk before class, there's no half-doing this"
He stopped responding after the animal pictures... I do this EVERY TIME.
you were feeling the wall and when we asked you why, you just said "because I want to know who lived here before"
I took a cab from the club to the grocery store. I needed peanut butter.
I sent him a tit pic with the caption, "Mt. Arie and Mt. Hola are ready for expedition." Too nerdy?
Did you know that pizza hut has a wedding proposal box? And sorry for being kinda drunk yesterday when you got here
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
you asked the cab driver if he wanted to meet your parents, last night.
You know what else? He didn't even get to see my butt. And my butt is really cute. Car sex is awful.
He told me my car had really nice leather seats right before he jizzed all over them.
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