You know it's time to leave Spain when you are back and forth between Skype and a Spanish dictionary trying to figure out out to say "I can still smell you on my skin."
Remind me to tell you the Scottish bar story tomorrow
Remind me to tell you it was a shitty story when you're done telling it tomorrow
You called me twice to tell me that you spit in your own eye, when I was right next to you.
i just sold a bong and some oregano to fifth graders for sixty dollars. doing something tonight?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Took his v-card last night. Yet another experience I didn't expect to have in my thirties.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I want to break his glasses with my pelvis.
It's that thing where you don't have any food so you just drink beer to get your needed calories for the day.
Hopefully this dress says "let me rent your house" and not "let me suck your dick for money"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
she texted me 'with freud,' which i thought was drunk for 'i'm with my friend.' but nope, she was actually on a statue of the psychologist sigmund freud.
I came to the conclusion that Tinder and having the day off are not good for my relationship.
Like your dick isn't Beyoncé, it doesn't get close ups
I DIDN'T WATCH THE PILLSBURY DOUGH BOY PORN!!!!
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
I lysoled the money\n(631): wrong text lmao
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