i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm gonna keep this simple. I threw up in your pillow case. Sorry.
we took turns throwing up in the kitchen sink last night...no i am not doing the dishes
i got shots of sambuca dumped on my head last night. my bag still smells like licorice. making me nauseous.
it is a nice little reminder of the bruins dominance. if Vancouver had won, it would somehow smell of maple syrup.
I'm really proud of myself for not blacking out yet this weekend!
It's a Thursday.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
She dresses cool and she's mean. And she has fake boobs I feel like I can relate to her on so many levels.
I took Xanax and it did nothing to me. First sign I'm crazy and actually need it.
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I am stoned at Disneyland with my little brother. It's gonna be a good day.
It's okay I didn't send any nudes tonight so we are safe *inserts photo of a baseball umpire doing the safe signal*
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
One day I'll learn not to get drunk on a plane. Today is not that day.
You know that text I sent you last night at 2? That was 5 minutes before I ran face first into a wall of not okay
So I took a screenshot of my boarding pass and the TSA agent somehow swiped it to the next photo. Yep...TSA saw my dick before I even went through the body scanner.
Randomize
