It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I just saw a Kleenex commercial and thought about last night. I'm sorry about your hair.
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
I woke him up and he was mumbling something about it being moist, or he peed himself but it was okay.
I think mounting someone proves who's house this is
I mean we had sex in a crib. You tell me how my night was.
Why yes actually, getting stoned and reading an AARP magazine IS totally where I wanted my night to end!
God loves me. So high, craving Jimmy Johns chips, looked down, unopened bag in front of me. Still doesn't feel real
I mean, two foreign guys have drunkenly confessed their love for her, so she's clearly doing something right.
I'm bringing my passport in case we get drunk and wind up in Mexico
I stopped for beer and woke up to a bird on my shoulder. I really need to stop drinking
On a scale of 1 to 10 how concerned should I be
I can check masterbating in China off the bucket list.
I just got woken up by that guy wearing a Krispy Kreme hat giving out donuts
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
Randomize
