I think tonya harding is in my dwi class!
Ask her how she and Jeff Gillooly split the cats after the divorce.
so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
No mine's bigger. It just looks smaller because I'm drunk
The 19 Strangest Things People Use To Get Off
I Just paid off the bartender to help me convince this chic my roommate's gay. This is the best cockblock ever.
You ordered a "mcblizzard" and yelled @ the worker for false advertisement because she didn't flip your "mcblizzard" upsidedown. You wanted it free. I'd say mcdonalds daytime workers need to be trained in dealing with daytime drunks too. She didn't know what to do.
oh god...if the people that live above me killed themselves again then im gonna assume im the worst neighbor ever
Dude she has starbursts in her sports bra. I feel like this is counter productive.
I've decided I'm gonna attack people with the toilet plunger.
These 25 Normal Couples Tried Porn Moves During Sex And It Ended Horribly
There was an Altoids can full of urine in the bathroom. I do not want to know what was going on in there.
Due to certain anatomical proportions it was less like fucking and more like childbirth.
Romantically speaking, I want to sit on his face.
Just remember that no one else gets to suck his dick but you, feel honored. It's like the Olympic torch of life is being passed off to you and it's your time to run
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
Um, when I went down on you it got stuck there. Still had gum in my mouth. Didn't exactly have use of my hands to assist