Hi, I just found this phone under my seat at a brewers game and seeing as you're entered in as 'fillllatio' I figured I'd ask you if you know the illiterate ass who owns this phone. Thanks :)
i just got fired from my job because i was "too smart" and my immedate response was i am WAY too stoned to be considered smart, and theni walked out the door.
wow. i have no words.
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
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we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Let's enter the circle of trust. Are we there yet? Ok. If I somehow hypothetically slept with Amandas ex husband...on a scale of one to ten...how bad is that?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
nothing like walking in the house at 3 am in my panties and a sheer shirt carrying a life sized cardboard dale earnhardt jr
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
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I'm doing laundry from this weekend.. That poor shirt I wore to the rave smells like a dead animal that rolled in weed and pain..
It tastes like you we're too lazy to shower and instead just sprayed yourself with Febreeze.
You have a very discerning palate.
exhale infront of a fan. self shotgun.
I'm spending tomorrow doing taxes and making jello shots. Is this adulthood?
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.