my little brother got his license today.. too early to ask him to DD?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
I can't. I can't get out. He cooked me food. And made me jager bombs. And painted a glow in the dark smilie face on my boobs
I have your shoes, your bike, and someones blue underwear. Round 2 tonight?
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
We are, if nothing else, classy enough to leave our 10 mini bottles of wine in a polite line on the floor of the movie theater.
Buying her a drink is like giving a seagull a French fry, all you're gonna do is get annoyed and shit on
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
If your talking about a poncho I WANT ONE
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
I’m planning a Pharmasutra for the first night after the pandemic ends
Pharmasutra?
Me + Chris + cocktails + viagra = night of orgasms
Randomize
