what are you wearing?
Just my guilt
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Sorry if I ruined your sex last night with my constant text updates about the plot of Bolt.
So I got a little fucked up on the punch, and made out with the family friend. Which is apparently morally reprehensible. I don't get that.
If you could smell my eyes you'd understand the whole story
you kept introducing yourself to guys as "never going to happen"
When we asked you how you got there you replied in all seriousness, "rode my legs"
It's all fun and games until some random starts jerking it on the deck.
Can we just smoke a few bowls and eat grilled cheese while drunk in our hotdog suits at 9am ?
She's legally too young to drink and was making out with a guy who is ethically too old to drink.
If my mom's not going to offer me drugs then it's really pointless for me to be here.
Listen I just pulled white girl hair out of my underwear. This has got to stop. I was wearing pants all night.
I LACK THE NECESSARY BRAIN FUNCTIONS TO BE ABLE TO PROPERLY RESPOND TO THAT
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
It is getting ridiculous, the elaborateness of the schemes I have to concoct so my suitemates don't know I'm pooping.
Randomize
