I totally understand Scottish logic. No underwear+skirt=great
i never realize how drunk i am until i start using people as human stripper poles
i think you broke pat's ankle when you drove over it... he's freaking out but on a more serious note i'm 99% sure i saw a werewolf
Lmao. We just snorted some mystery powder uriah found packged up in my car, that i know has been in there almost a year... Its adventure time.
at least you know where his tattoos end, so it wasn't a complete waste of time.
In the midst of you puking your guts out, you stopped, looked at the globe in front of you and whispered "America.."
I had a great time except for the part where you called another guy, told him you were in a cab - not on a date - and that you'd meet him at a bar in 15 minutes. but besides that it was awesome. Next time capping you at two glasses of wine
She just lifted up her dress, screamed "This is gonna be a good one!" And pissed on the pole...
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
His baby mama found the pictures of us, she couldn't see my face but she could see my asshole. So I'm safe.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
you put your dick on my shoulder this morning like it was a fucking parrot
We turned his nipples into a drinking game.
So, I just found out Ireland, is #1 in binge drinking. I know its Sunday but this one is for America.
Are we at that level of friendship where we can share slutty stories and not hold it against the other person at a later date ?
Randomize
