My dad assaulted a TSA agent this morning. Shut down airport security. Don't tell me that your family is embarrassing.
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
You just kept taking about baking cornbread and doing your physics. Even drunk assed random you is a better student than me.
Hundreds of bug bites..Dad jokingly says "looks like you passed out naked in the woods somewhere"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry you were dumb enough to get played by a male cheerleader
Was last night real? Did I lick your forehead while you laid in between my legs while we laid next to your boyfriend?
Apparently it is frowned upon to ask the bouncer to stop pointing his flashlight in your face and step back so you can puke....and then do it
he gifted me a vibrator as he was breaking up with me. you tell me how my night went
GET ME OUT OF HERE THE DOCTOR KNOWS HE IS JUDGING ME I DEMAND A PRISON BREAK
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Are you 5:30 blackout again?
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Got an egg Mcmuffin combo, and put the hash brown in the sandwich. That level of hungover
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
In the last 3 weeks my drunken adventures have caused me to lose 2 credit cards, one debit card, a bracelet, two purses, and my $500 phone... Maybe i should quit drinking.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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