I glued a penny on the door Tricia believes its Patrick Swayze haunting our apartment. Fuckin potheads.
I left his apartment Bc I lost my id. Wandered 5 miles barefoot. Got lost in downtown la. My phone died so I asked for directions from a man at the gas station.. Turns out he was a bum. He led me back to the apartment AND he found my id.
It's like the whiskey god was watching over you
You always have that cute deer in the headlights look. Thats what made showing you my penis for the first time so disconcerting.
I just need three more girls to complete my 'Freak-a-leak' bang list. Know any girls named Zahra, Shavon, or Daronda?
i need to stop celebrating other people's birthdays like they are m own.. my body can't handle a birthday every week
I plan on showing these boobs to so many people that by the end of it ill just have a shirt of beads.
The only times girls talk to me at clubs is when they're asking if I'm okay when I'm puking outside. Or if it's a tranny
all i've had to eat today is leftover bday cake and a shot of tequila.
welcome to college.
I woke up to pizza pinned to my wall. So that's that.
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
I'm eating chocolate cake while this guy snaps me from the gym. Like I cant believe i actually considered getting rid of this cake. Have fun sweating ima eat this cake 👌
I just had all of the sex. All of it.
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
He woke me with blue berry pancakes and a blow job. He's a keeper.
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