i just google imaged poop.
the cops didnt even wait to start drinking the confiscated alchohol from the party
no, didnt close...
What?! she made the first move and invited you back to her place. thats like striking out in t-ball pathetic...
Bad news is I found gravy in my nightstand again.
Someone jacked my earrings off me or I threw em in the toilet again
I hate when that happens
Oh by the way, john gave me your shirt to return to you when I was at work today. I almost gave him his girlfriends underwear to return to her but figured it would be inappropriate.
You invited the cop in for a "Celebrity shot"
One small step for man, one big gay fierce leap for gays!
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Ask me who hasn't showered since Sunday and just got cruised at the gas station on his way to work. I'm a terrible gay.
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
I had sex with him for the first time drunk, dressed in a toddler overall tutu costume, at 2pm. Horrible start.
You know that gay bartender? Not as gay as we thought.....
I just had mom give me advice about how and where to store my lube in my shower. It was super awkward. Of course, she also walked in on me masturbating once so I guess turnabout is fair play
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