We better get laid next semester cause I prayed hard
I even walked 30 feet with my eyes closed from two love rocks so that we get some cock
I just gave my whole company pinkeye. How's that for a summer intern's lasting impression? BOOYAHH
watching E! true Hollywood story: curse of the lottery.. i'd probably spend all my money on blow and airplanes too..
It feels like I shit a light bulb that shattered on the way out.
don't leave me alone with all the disney princess sluts
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Casually had to file a missing persons report last night
STOP TELLING PEOPLE I PEED ON YOU
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
i have a raging boner for Saturday, day drinking is one of my top favorite things right next to alligator wrestling and blowing shit up
Sorry man, but I'd rather do drugs with strangers than watch sports with you. It's not personal, drugs always beat sports.
It was going very smoothly until she noticed my boner of hope.
Do you think they manscape in the zombie apocalypse?
His idea of hot sex is sticking his finger in my dark star while doing me Missionary style. You can tell he's from the Bible Belt.
Does he smell like BBQ?
Inside and out.
Randomize
