dude if Megan calls say you Sis was house sitting for me yesterday , she f'n found dana's panties
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
Her face is stuck to the frozen jager bottle. I think shes ok with it
is it mean that i live tweeted about whether or not my roommate and her bf were having sex or were wrestling?
The Mole People would help. They are a kind, helpful people, the Mole People are.
Mole people?
Mole people
Don't forget Giraffe in your car! If we show up in the same outfit without animal heads we're just gonna look weird.
What! You have to go to class. Otherwise, you're wasting money that could have been spent on weed. Gotta get that shit in perspective.
P.S. If you wake up before noon it still counts as morning sex
Cant leave im designed bacon maker you come here
Had a moment of weakness, slept with my ex last night
So that's why our room smells like tequila and shame.
MDMA, margaritas, mashed potatoes and ice cream aren't keto Kristin
I've been getting a lot of emails from patron lately for being a great customer. Is that awesome, or should I start thinking about seeking help?
are you inviting me to ice cream?
the subtext of everything i say to you is inviting you to ice cream
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
