I have discovered something important. The trick to making food taste better is not always 'more hot sauce'.
then they high fived as they party boyed me. I was a policewoman sandwhich. I love you halloween.
Someone obviously heard us on their way to class. They stopped at my door and started singing afternoon delight.
I really need to learn how to handle sexual advances from older women
I wish I had your problem
Remember...the emancipation proclimation is your favorite document, you love asian women, japanese food is the tits, and you willfully employ as many latinos as possible...
I called him and he said hell call me back hes in the middle of his kareokee song he was out by himself and his dog
God I hope the gutter I die in is nice. You know, for a gutter.
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
LET ME HAVE MY JUDGMENT OF OTHER PEOPLE
I love when my neighbors have passionate, loud sex to remind me that I'm not getting laid
at that point, I wouldn't blame you because I'd be so ashamed I couldnt even have sex with myself.
You know my vagina and my heart have a mind of their own even when it’s pouring snow.
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
Nothing like an afternoon walk of shame across campus on parent's weekend. Damn.
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