did you hook up austin?
No! he threw up in my bathroom, made me wake up and order him jimmy johns, beat my roommate with a macaroni and cheese box, and then passed out with her in her bed
I think we should urban dictionary "drive of shame." It involves a sprint to your car in his underwear and shirt, surreptitiously trying to put on your bra on at stoplights without attracting attention from neighboring cars, and lurking in your car a block from home so you can know when your roommate leaves for work.
i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
Going to get tested monday. You're coming with. Bonding time, slut style.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
i'm using salt from the free peanuts to stop the bleeding.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
I've reached the slutty point of no return. And it feels like multiple orgasms and coke lines
All I wanted was a "this is what America feels like" blowjob before I left. Is that too much to ask for?
Like her Facebook page isn't even hers. It belongs to her tits. It's Titsbook
I bought an american flag today and by god im gonna fuck someone on it
so i EARNED it!?! i EARNED dying alone with cats!!?
i put frozen meatballs in my drink thinking they were ice cubes and I'm vegetarian wtf
I just used my sisters cheerleading plaque and a children's book to crush up painkillers to snort. Happy Friday
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