Wine + wine + wine + wine + bud light = puke.
Cant decide who was more of a mess the morning after... me when i passed out in the bathroom stall or you when you sprayed yourself down with hairspray thinking it was sunblock
Drunk versus high capture the flag: what team is everybody gonna be on?
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
HE'S EATING THE CONFETTI. STOP HIM NOW.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
At what point do you think my baptist preacher of a father will clue in that my brother "bringing a foreign exchange student" for thanksgiving means "bringing his european boyfriend and they'll probably fuck every night" for thanksgiving?
Yes, I have your ice luge mold. I'll do a prisoner exchange for the beer bong
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
Also this is super embarrassing but sorry for licking your chest
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
You grabbed my shirt and said, "hope you're not attached" and ripped it off before I could answer you.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Remember the Giant sandworm from the movie Dune? Well that's about how big his dick is. No bulshit.
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