He probably put up nude pics. He seems like that kind of guy.
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
Yes. It's so easy to pack to leave when you've thrown away half your clothing cause it smells like vomit.
Saw a guy pass out and hit his head on a urinal. Laughing too hard to help him up
all i remember was her shitting herself and asking me to call her parents.....i so didn't. when i woke up she was gone and left a note saying "we will be lovers forever"
I threw up for like 20 hours. Im gonna be the DD for the next 5 years.
He's not replying to my booty call. Like wtf. You have ONE PURPOSE IN LIFE.
she and her cat are both sick as fuck so they just sat there looking at each other with her nose dripping on the cat's. both out of fucks
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. She asked how my day was going and it got hard.
In case I die. I'm in ares truck with a bartender named Dave from chuys. JUST IN CASE. And let the people know my last words were suck my dick. My like literally.
You invited these random guys into your apartment that you met in the hallway...& then you started screaming at them to get out cause you didn't know who they were.
Do you know anything about how the saran wrap ended up on my toilet seat?
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
