That guy youre talking to looks like Brian from Family Guy.
Soooo billy mays was on coke. I'm about as shocked as I was when Clay Aiken came out
Squirrels and blue jays and dove-like things. They're just frolicking around in my backyard. I wanna be like them.
I knew I was high when I wanted to write a poem about how great it felt to wash my face
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
This is the first time I have ever hoped it's poison ivy on my cock
I may or may not have just sent the bartender a pic of me in my slutty cheerleader costume with the caption "rah rah ree, gimme yo d"
Woke up naked wearing mismatched earrings. Didn't even make it to the bar.
I'm cuddling with a baby pig and drinking champagne right now.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i want to go make food but i'll have to face my mom after telling her that the random i'm sleeping with, whose name i don't know, told me I was "too slutty to be his girlfriend" when i was drunk last night
Super awkward that I just now realized I added no verb to the first statement about super hero porn. We were watching it, not making it. Clarity.
That sounds promising. I'm twerking to human nature.
He seems like a super lonely dude. I bet if I gave him a picture of my tits he wouldn't make me turn in this paper.
Tight. Want to get up, make coffee, sit on separate couches and silently read our mobile devices together?
WELP I KNOW THE HAPPY HOUR DRINKS WERE GOOD BECAUSE MOM JUST INFORMED ME I AM THE RESULT OF POKED HOLE IN THE DIAPHRAGM
Randomize