ugh, i have officially sinned in all of my cute clothes. i can't even wear any of them without feeling regret.
Enough with studying for finals. Time to put that my little pony coloring book to use.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
I can handle NPR. I speak hippie. I took it in college.
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Dave, I love you but you're barking up the wrong lesbian. You sir are the competition. You don't threesome with competition.
I only think it appropriate to apologize for making out with your next boyfriend. It won't happen again.
Oh god. I just had a sex dream about the talking dog from the Bush's Baked Beans commercials.
We just got busted fucking in the hammock by his roommate...I'm so out of here as soon as hes asleep....
I'm really tired of this guy walking his chicken in my neighborhood.
Do you wanna do something, or just stare at each other and fantasize about death like we usually do
YALL MOTHERFUCKERS WANNA WATCH HEAVY METAL AND SMOKE WEED AND PLAY POOL AND DRINK BEER AND SMOKE WEED
Every time Brady gets sacked I cum a little...
I s2g I’m about to get ghosted by a 34 yr old and my Oedipus complex cannot take it
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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