I feel like if im whacking off more now that i have a gf than i did when i was single, somethings wrong.
You also had the stripper slap the shit out of me for not having any money....remember that?
I just got a drinking merit badge from a slutty girl scout
dude, i think we just came across a situation where tits weren't worth it.
We are lost. Everyone is drunk and it all went downhill after we iced the bus driver.
Apparently she doesn't appreciate the significance of eskimo sisterhood as much as I do.
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
You just kept walking around in a circle saying "well played 6th street well played" before falling over.
I am a murderer. I ran over so many baby frogs. I wanted to stop and pick some up to take home, but all I have is a wine bottle. I'd hate to explain that to a cop.
I want a bottle of whiskey to be dropped at my doorstep like a stork drops babies when they are delivered to their parents.
God what have you done to be that much in need of alcohol.
Me WANTS my preciousssssssssss
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
Unless he's under 18, in which case you put him back where you found him this instant.
But forealz I'm gonna need a solid 52 orgasms so hydrate.
We drove through Taco-Bell on our way to the ER
I just found my phone after looking for it since yesterday afternoon it was in the fridge.
Randomize
