So it's 10:55am and I just woke up on the floor in the hallway on the4th floor. There should probably be no moredrinking competetions.
Should I have kids to fix a relationship??
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
So can you tell me who's underwear is on the cat?
And I'm ok with his balls touching my ass
All of her cloths were on our coffee table this morning. The only things she left with last night were her shoes and Scott
I'm ordering a French maid costume for my dog too. It's like a couples costume, except for losers with dogs.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
I think we've entered a low point in our relationship when I'm sending you pictures of pubic hair designs "because they're funny"
Should I be concerned you put your last name in my phone as "danger"?
I want morning sex. We can incorporate maple syrup into it somehow, it'll be fun
Now when you said you'd never sleep with me, did you really mean never on a Monday or never without handcuffs or a blindfold or never on a airplane or never without lots of booze? Cus never is a pretty strong word.
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
I find nice boys who are in extremely long term relationships with nice girls, wait for them to break up, and sneak in for the rebound fucking.
You are like a terrifying jaguar of sex. Predatory.
so we’ve decided to fuck for our own health
Randomize
