what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
he believed the zit on my nose was a piercing...until he tried to bite it. needless to say he didnt ask for my number
So all semester this guy and girl have been talking, and today is the last class and we are doing nothing. I would have skipped but I want to see if he seals the deal or pusses out. It's like a season finale.
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Word to the wise: learn how to ask "What is my bail posted as" in French before traveling abroad.
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
Sorry for scaring your son with my drunken animal impressions
you cant just puke in an arbys and not order food. thatd be rude.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He SHOWED UP to the party wearing one shoe and a dinosaur hat. He kept lifting up his shirt and asking people to bite his nipple.
He used one of his curtains as a leash and hand restraints. He wins the creative sex challenge hands down.
You just managed to turn Doctor Seuss into a sext. I really like you now.
I made the last cup in beer pong off the dude's hat. I also faintly remember rapping Forever by Drake during said game.
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Randomize