you left your dildo in my car
rules of finders keepers apply
she said 'i love fried rice', threw a condom at me and passed out naked.
he has been on a 2 week bender, has been homeless for a week and a half, and leaves for madagascar in 2 days. Do we worry or is that normal?
Just spent the last three hours in the library successfully refreshing facebook
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
I just blurted out "it's pretty tight isn't it"
If shame burned calories, I'll be back to my birth weight by the end of this weekend.
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
I wish my bank account would intervene on my life choices.. $200+ in alcohol in 2 weeks and a $40 McDonald's bill is a cry for help.
She proposed we share a dildo. Hopefully she was joking.
He said something last night about making crepes, but after getting pissed on in bed, I question everything.
There's a fine line between kinky and serial killer
You told me you were trying to learn all the MLB ballparks while you waited for your porn to load.
Guys are like someone else's baby; i'll play with them but if responsibility is involved i'll hand them off.
He was tied up with the electrical tape and force fed wine from a box. It was never going to end well.
Randomize
