She looks like Sash Grey but sounds like Fran Drescher. Advise.
I don't know the quality of the hand jobs you've received in the past but it CLEARLY was not one from me
Her bed is on wheels, so we woke up in the kitchen.
I have surprise drugs for everyone
Last night was the twilight zone. We hungout with our 45 year old future selves and tried to fuck everything with a dick. Lets move forward from this.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
It was like getting a handjob from a frost giant
Man, I meant to go dancing, but accidentally took mushrooms and just threw the frisbee in the park
Surprise ending
Now: to brush my teeth, put on my grandma slippers and earplugs, masturbate to 50 Shades and then PTFO
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Morning fuck and a coffee. ARE YOU READY TO CONQUER THE GALAXY WITH ME??
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
Awake! can you bring me my pants...im under the couch
Does it still count as a threesome if one girl left halfway through cause we were having too much sex?
Fuck you for even being able to ask that question
Randomize
