Came home and the girl was sitting on the steps "talking" on her ipod touch AND was halfway done eating a raw cucumber.
The size of her hoop earrings are directly related to how much of a slut she is.
New years is officially the only time its okay to drunk dial your parents.
if i were reduced to my simplest elements, i would be jizz and glitter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
Shes been standing with her arms crossed in front of the mirror for 45 minutes...she told me she's "getting sober"
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
The night was going well until I found tufts of my hair in the freezer. Then I got nervous
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
But the real question is how many people didn't see my dick last night?
Yeah I was convinced everyone knew I was high. Time was passing way too slowly for anyone NOT to notice.
Still breathing?
Still breathing , but quite out of it. I think I hallucinated like 20 action sequences.
What.
My vagina is no longer accepting new clients.
Ripping out my IUD in Dave and busters bathroom
I'm only gonna ask u this once. Y is there a picture of u only in superman underwear rubbin ur nipple on facebook????
Uh I can actually explain that one..
Randomize