I'm twenty-five. I'm too old to be watching my friend throw up in Chipolte Parking lot.
Blew in her face. She is Pissed. Yahtzee. As she brushes her teeth.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
omg i forgot michael madsen was in free willy this is the most epic movement of my stoned life
He said they were doing a skit in class apparently someone else is dressed like a horse. Ive never felt more proned to skipping class than now
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Sean slept in the bushes beside my house again. Any reason he kept screaming/slurring 'it was all a bunch of goddamn lies' through out the night?
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
I just walked out of the side door of the bar to come in the front door so no one would know I've been here drinking before our work meeting.
The not so cute guy next to me made me play Kid Rock on the jukebox but I'm a big believer in free drinks so I obliged.
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
Drunk me bought a cell phone last week and began texting sober me. The conversation between the two is still on going.
Randomize
