the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
and everytime i fart i feel like in your heart, you can hear it
i was so drunk that there were 2 of her, and i didn't know which one to fuck
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
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No i peed with you in the toilet. The guy I high fived was mid pee in front of the urinal
We're gonna go drive around campus and throw water balloons at all the drunk bitches wobbling around, wanna come?
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Aside from having sex with a rando in a toga on george's couch i think taking plan b in the library is the most hashtag college thing i've ever done
I'm moving out of my place and I just gave my mom a couch that I had sex on last night. Reduce, reuse, recycle at its best.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
drunk me always erases text conversations because she is a woman of mystery and does not like for me to know what's going on in her life
I just realized that this is the first time I've ever seen your mom without sucking your cock.
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
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