I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
eating taco bell the same day as formal = probably a bad idea
At what point in time did you decide the pot head with Taco Bell was more important than all your friends.
At about the same time you guys weren't burritos.
the girl next to me at the bar JUST looked down at her vagina and said "im going to get you fed". if i come home alone tonight...i give you permission to cut off my penis
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i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I might be a bit. I accidently started hot boxing the bathroom. I'm just gonna go with it.
I have Denny's hours of operations written on the palm of my hand....not in my writing, in a girls writing, is that as good as or equal to a cell number?
I'm afraid you are becoming too bourgeois with your switch from boxed wine to bottled.
That last minute feeling of hesitation on whether I should bring my health card to the bar usually means I'm in for a good night.
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he told me "apparently my gag reflex doesn't work so if you magically grew a penis I would deep throat you"
I did the walk of shame this morning and his mom hugged me in the driveway
She asked how many sexual partners I'd had and I was like "Honestly I don't even know". And then she said "well last time you said 8." And my inner monologue busted out laughing and I was like "Oh I'd say like 11 or 12.....plus 20."
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
He's so sweet...I can't see him enjoying that I got injured during sex.
I lost my virginity to Adventure Time. DO YOU NOT UNDERSTAND THE SIGNIFICANCE?!
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