Omg I def was not. I wasn't that drunk. I showed that I stuff my bra but I didn't whip my tit out.
would you object to me following you around all the time with a video camera and selling it to TV? Your life could make me millions.
just convinced brandon semen are bugs that crawl in your pants and make gooey juice. now hes convinced he has them lmao
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
God Help those hot young girls. It's going to be like Bambi in iraq. Except worse.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
yea, there's something about a stripper whipping you with your own belt that makes you think
I'm sorry for the texts and anything that I said that may have caused confusion, pain or irritation. I shall not be drinking again. Furthermore I will not be keeping a phone on me should I fail to adhere to the prior statement.
Omg. I wanna lecture the drug dealer about how highschool should not be his glory days.
I like to feed my guinea pigs before I get stoned. In case they get contact high and get the munchies. It's only polite.
I remember you fighting a small man for the last of the pizza. Was there a midget in my house last night?
Plus my fingers were hella swollen from eating all these cured meats so it was like I was given it to her with Hulk Hands on
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
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