he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
And my fence, why is part of it on the roof?
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
you flashed the cab driver so we didn't have to pay the fare and then you decided you were on a roll so you flashed the guy at the maccas drive through... safe to say your boob job was the best idea ever!!
i walked in and you were spoon feeding your sister grape juice out of a tupperware.
Dude. I kneed him in the face and gave him a black eye. It's like a constant reminder of our hookup. I feel like herpes. I never go away...
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
They let me close the tennis center alone. It's a 6-minute drive from 2 of my booty calls. Scratch tennis court bj off the bucket list.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
I am significantly less than sober now. Gonna make like, ten hotdogs.
true... I just kept thinking "THAT IS A PENIS. OMG THAT IS A PENIS. DOES HE KNOW IM STARRING? STOP LOOKING. OMG THIS IS AWKWARD. PENISSSSS"
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
You win. I am a lesbian who maybe slightly jaded. I didn't mean to throw the knife at you head.
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