Good. I was naked most of the night. But sometimes I would wear my tux vest...But only my tux vest. It was classy
Hold on, I'm google imaging "vagina close ups" to see if mine match up
I just made what I can safely estimate to be a 900 calorie pb&j. Fuck a serving size.
i was able to set 4 alarms to make sure i woke up in time for class but i couldnt take the open beer out of my pocket before i did cartwheels down the hall...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
yeah people on the adjacent balcony, Im naked drinking outside in 0 degree weather at 1pm. got a problem?
Bon Iver should never be played when you just ate shrooms.
You gave me your shirt to use as a napkin every time I spilled beer on myself. Before we went to the bar.
You could woo kevin with a boquet of breakfast burritos. He loves those burritos. You could use the hot sauce packets like babies breathe
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
I thought you couldn't go near Germans after that restraining order
I am 95% sure I just heard my cat say "What are you doing home? It's Saturday night."
I still hate everything and everyone around me. Krampus taught me nothing.
She was hammered and showed her gay best mate a pic of my cock, his response was "I fucked the wrong brother"
On a side note apparently my brother is gay
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