Well listen chief - never again do i want the scenario of going to the ER totally naked and partially drunk to b a possibility.
i think the semi hot bartender might actually be a man in drag..on a similar note, what are you drinking?
it was terrible. i could've done a better job by myself.
she was handing out condoms w/ her number on them...
It's amazing the difference a day and 2000 mg of antibiotic make. Nine days to go.
It was just a reflex. BOOM I kicked her in the face
Just got blown in a rental car. I need to get rear ended more often
Shaving my legs with an ankle monitor on is surprisingly more difficult than the drunk driving that got me here
Going to jail was so much more fun than I thought it would be. I feel like I walked away with more than just a bomb-ass mugshot, I feel like I made some life long friends.
Celebratory bar crawl?
This is the most boring acid ever. I feel like a child. But thats okay, I've been a child before, its nothing new.
he told me he didn't like my name so he was going to call me Casey instead
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
The night went downhill somewhere between the time I was triple fisting smirnoff and when I was throwing up in the yard in nothing but my bra while he talk to me about mashed potatoes
Two words: nipple clamps
Randomize
