the only reason I knew his name is because half way through I looked up and it was tatooed on his chest.
guys i just found a dildo in the laundry room and its purple
whats a dildo? isnt that like a fancy piece of bread?
so he came over for the first time and i completely forgot i had pictures of him printed out from facebook on my wall and a newspaper article with him in it.. you can guess that it lead for an awkward situation.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
In hindsight buying the pill crusher with my vicodin prescription might have been too much.
with all this snow coming, and no school, I figure why not try every possible liquor snowcone.
Traveling before 21 and traveling after 21 are two different things. There's a whole nother world of red white and blue weird out there
Idk I somehow continue to get laid by pulling my dick out and reciting the 3 world country orphan kid commercials
We're getting paid a considerable amount of money to send each other pictures of our dicks...
If I wear a tail on Halloween, how am I supposed to grind? Maybe I will just wear devil horns
is it weird that our first time having sex was makeup sex?
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
In the event that Ian's ex wife asks you, tell her I'm sweet snd innocent. No reason.
Randomize
