i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
I have teeth marks. Like distinct upper and lower jaw.
Yeah me too. My shoulder looks rabid.
The last thing I remember is yelling "ill handle this" while wearing a lion suit and holding a jug of vodka when the RAs came
this is a time for prayers...seriously
let us hold hands and pray.. sweet baby jesus please bring us some sweet sweet man loving this homecoming weekend to aid our lonely vaginas it has been a long couple of weeks amen.
Yeah, all the sudden I heard a loud "ding" and realized I had been passed out on the dorm elevator for about an hour....
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
Probably twitter. Never underestimate a psycho girl with wifi
I was screaming out for people to gather the townsmen and the mayor so we could hang him
Current status: Finding an unwrapped portion of Subway sandwich in my purse at the pharmacy counter & picking pieces of tomato off my wallet while the pharmacist watches disdainfully.
Did you offer her some?
If only. Current status: Not that clever.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
I thought 5 times was beyond my capabilities but her tongue was like a penis defibrillator. Clear!
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
Randomize
