it's not our fault the pink and the sink are so close together.
Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
remind me not to puke in the mesh trash can tonight
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Too late, the blunt's already in my cleavage
people who like being in relationships make me feel bad about myself.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
She wanted to to do it on top of a horse, I can't compete with that
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Mom saw my dick pic over my gf's shoulder. She told her she really should've had me circumcised.
sober me doesnt really want him anymore, but when drunk me takes over, she might want him, and god only knows the shit that might happen with drunk me.
Randomize