Is it possible to be promiscuous but in a classy way?
i'm waiting for the less fat version of him to text me
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
dude, I'm passing out in the fifth floor janitors closet. Let me know when the rooms opened back up
I have been sober for so long that I miss hangovers... what is happening to this summer?
We were dancing and she was clawing my stomach like a fat kid getting to a half broken pinata.
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
Can we just talk about how I wrote out all the stuff I had to do this week and for Thursday it says "drink and cry"? ...I don't remember putting that but it sounds like something I would do
There's always a silver lining when massive voluptuous tits are involved
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I just had a visual of u banging and screaming at him at the same time.
i just sexted for my mom while she was driving, i have hit an all time low.
You were yelling at them from the passenger seat saying you wanted your chicken for free because they couldn't prove it was from kentucky
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