There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
Cumbucket.....OH MY GOD THAT COMES UP AUTOMATICALLY NOW!!
the girl next to me just texted someone in her phone named Optimus Prime
...i wonder what he did to earn that nickname
Next time we're there I want drunk pics of us trying to ride the stone lions downtown. Don't even attempt to fight me on this.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
i broight you flpweers amd vodka. open yoir bask door
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I don't know what to be prouder of: the fact that last night i was able to successfully find my way home from evanston with 3-d glasses on, or that i was able to make my way around my house in the dark with my pants around my ankles
Please stop using me as a reference for bail bondsmen.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You said you were uncomfortable with your body and then you started making whale noises
So we became Pizza Strippers- we stripped and asked for slices of pizza in return.
In case you're wondering what I'm doing, I'll be banging an 18 year old this weekend. Repeatedly.
Well. Now I feel like I put pants on for nothing.
Yeah he drove 30 minutes at 3 AM to come fuck me in my neighbors treehouse
He was laying on a lawn chair, fell off onto his stomach and asked, "where'd the stars go?" That high.
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