yeah worst sex in my life. plus i think her little brother was in the room.
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
I sat on his lap and we shared a beer. I feel like that's an invitation to his dick.
She counted 5,6,7,8 then intentionally kneed herself in the eye numerous times.
We are hot boxing the gondola
I hate everything.
trying to figure out why the only thing in our freezer is an expired loaf of bread, a white t shirt, and a receipt from taco bell for 37.50 from last Friday
Those were some damn good pancakes you made last night.
Dude I've been in FL since Monday.
Okay so.. What's with me and guys who have more than 2 nipples
She just asked to come over. She's either going to bring one of her dads guns and kill me or we're going to end up having insane lesbian sex.
I'm pretty sure my roommate is moving out because her cat likes me better
I have the WORST hangover. Pretty sure my liver fell out while taking a dump. THAT bad.
he was peeing off the deck shouting "urinals are for pussies" that's how much hurricane.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
So bottomless mimosas = me waking up in a truck bed in a random neighborhood with no purse or phone or idea how I got there.
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
