I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
You're my spirit guide. This has to do with oatmeal cream pies.
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
He took getting"shit in your neighbors hot tub drunk" way to literally
And now I'm drinking leftover wine in the grad lounge because fuck my life
My pubic hair is shaved into the shape of mistletoe.
I hope that's a joke and if not I need a snap of it
Once again being low on toilet paper is forcing us into another round of our favorite game - toilet paper roulette - where there can only be 1 winner. Maybe.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
He used his penis as a drumstick on my back and had me guess what song he was playing.
Also, McDonald's breakfast is now 24/7. This is it. This is how I die. Face first in a pile of hashbrowns.
dave might be using McDoubles to pay for dances
he has gotten at least 7 lap dances out back
Omg I joined a choir last night...
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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