Drunken candy land NOW. Dont fight the urge... you want to.
ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
The whole way homeyou were flapping your arms up and down, and when I asked why you said you were trying to tell Tony Danza about the angels.
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
you ate skittles off the table like a hungry hungry hippo. it was awesome.
She gave me a handjob while eating a mcdouble with mayo on the way home from the bars at 2 in the morning. Car was full of people. This could be forever
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
Dude she's famous. She's on an episode of campus pd. Can't not fuck her
It may not have seemed like it to you, but I was very sad that I was cheating on my GF with you. I was crying on the INSIDE.
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
I made out with the uber driver for free weed, I thought he deserved it
You squatted and peed on the living room floor while maintaining eye contact with Sebastian
The good thing about country bars is that the men generally look like men. The bad thing is the country music.
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
We hooked up and he sent me home with a plant and skittles lmao
Randomize
