guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wonder if they've ever made a porno about the song "she'll be comin' round the mountain when she comes"
I woke up this morning with a bag of pepperonis in my bed.... and my facebook status was "pepperonis"
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
My life has literally become a dickpocolypse. Thank you, summer, I missed you.
you're the only person i know to use "jizz" and "cute" in the same sentence.
I don't know why I've never thought to take my bong into the bathtub before.
It's my fault there's ramen coiled around his penis.
she keeps giving me cups of everbeer.. its everclear and beer mixed. i guess its blackout or backout time
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
You told me you had two boobs that want to be naked for me. I'm just following up on your request.
I slapped a guy during sex last night because he moaned the wrong name. Then I remembered I gave him a fake name. Sorry bro.
Afterwards the first thing I said was, "You know, you're probably the first guy who has ever gotten laid wearing Star Wars pajama bottoms."
I walked in..crop dusted the whole place then asked her if she wanted to go to a place that smells better.
You were always a thinker
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