am i morally bankrupt?
no. its just the recession
I saw her while sober, and she is definately cut off from the penis ride
Signed everyone in my dorm up for free samples of astroglyde. Took me an hour. Happy new years!!!!!
Plotting your own moral demise should not be this fun
Emergency need house key where r u I just got shit o n
Sudden realization: I dumped him because he was too immature, yet I am the one who moved back into my parent's basement post-breakup.
i walked in on you eating. you had the fridge wide open and you were rotating between steak and handfuls of captain crunch.
He was having an allergic reaction to that new brand of vodka Eric brought, so he just started chasing with benadryl.. Talk about commitment.
It's like shitshowville, population: those girls.
I came in and I guess my parents didn't hear me. My dad just said "Don't be lazy, RIDE IT." to my mom. Never coming home again.
Soooo fucked this chick last night! While fucking she started talking into the fan on the side of my bed. Does that count as sex with a robot
it'll be okay! And just think of this ultrasound as the most action you've had in a month...
How does fucking Canada get Justin Good Guy Take Me Now, Just Fuck Me In The House of Commons Trudeau, and our new President looks like he bathes in cheetoh dust and sin?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
