I thought it was weird that her dad told me to finish and get out after he walked in on us. I like him
he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
So my prents justed posted "DO NOT DISTURB" on facebook and i just heard their door shut and lock...I'm leaving
and then he said he has been waiting since high school to touch my boobs
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
so it turns out that "condoms galore" does, indeed, come up on your bank statement
my sombrero is too big for the bathroom
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
It's ok, I may have just peed outside your car and used your whataburger napkins. Hope you weren't saving them for a special occasion.
Fucken Tweens. They smelled like cotton candy and hand jobs my nostrils were offended.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He fingered me and now wants me to go get plan b because of it. WE'RE IN COLLEGE.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
He kept spinning my wedding ring like thanks buddy I remember
Do you remember vividly describing the shape and girth of my cock to that girl last night?
About the whale....I wasn't completely awake.
His sex game is strong it’s like a warlord’s dick! you know what I mean?
Nope
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