apparently the 911 operator took drunk dialing waaayy too seriously
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
I think it was you who decided that coming home at 3AM and cooking eggs topless was the best way to end our night. Eating the scrambled eggs off each other's boobs, that was ellie's idea
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
We made a water bong out of a wine bottle... Being an architect major finally payed off.
All I want to do is get high and needlepoint. Fuck your judgement
she asked me to come back to her house where "hopefully her kids were asleep". that my friend is what i call a dealbreaker
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
On a scale of 1 to alcoholic in withdrawal how ready will you be to start drinking as soon as you arrive on campus?
My theme for the night was drink diego drink! Unfortunately Dora was not there to navigate me to the bathroom
I am the image of restraint, it's why im just hungover and not in the hospital
Say thank you and give him a blowjob.
Randomize
