I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
TLC. RIGHT NOW. PRIMORDIAL TODDLERS.
I'm pretty sure there is a country song about this exact situation
just heard 2 nerds making fun of a girl for mispronouncing stochiometry. they followed it up by discussing the mathematical equation for getting laid. my day just became 100x better.
I finally beat you i just fucked my professor last night!!!\n\n
sry, psychiatrist trumps professor
Look on the bright side, you can mark 'beastiality' off your bucket list
i swear to god. if they dont have practically DTF written on their foreheads, or a glowstick in their hands, strictly no entry.
I just found a GIANT thermos of sangria in my sink. I don't know if its still good to drink, but its good to drink.
Bake him heart shaped cookies?!? Send him a picture of your tits like an ADULT!
When she tells her friend, "hey I'll be back tomorrow, just going to fuck a guy", right in front of you, you know you've got a winner.
She's hot and all. It's just I don't want to become Eskimo brothers with my sister
It's a charity event and she's wearing a cocktail dress drinking a 40... I found my future wife
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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