it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
my life is in even more shambles than last time, mcdonalds is closed
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Me and a lesbian played "may the best man win" over a bi chick tonight... I lost, still fun though
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she's sitting here naked with heels and a taco.
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
We still need to grow old, buy a house, and drink 40's while wearing old people sunglasses, staring at the young studs mowing our lawn.
I'm sitting at work trying to dust glitter off my pants. I can't hang out with her anymore.
Nothing kills the mood like him going to slap my ass and he hits his balls at the same time
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Your shirt... Was in my pants
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
does having sex with an episode of House playing in the background count as studying for my MCAT?
i'm high and self actualising, please send help
Just imagine a dick squawking like a parrot
had more orgasms than hours of sleep last night
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