Just saw the true definition of the muffin top and camel toe all on one person at the DC zoo... Tried to take a pic but she got away..
Fell asleep in bio again. Sometimes i feel like college is just one really expensive nap.
you kept falling over in mid-conversation and you just got right back up as if nothing happened...
You weren't a difficult drunk to take care of. I just had to stop you from plunging the toilet once or twice.
He posted on my wall. Idk if I'm ready for that big of a commitment.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
This chic sharing the cab with me just started givin me head. I'll be an extra 5 minutes.
It was kicking off big time until you crawled out the bar on your hands and knees. Nobody wanted to mess with that.
Maybe one day we'll get unicorn butt tattoos together
Last night, I listened to Aladdin on my ipod while I stole bread and cheese from Wal-Mart. I feel like you're the only one who'd be proud of me.
No joke. There's a picture of the priest I made out with on my parents' refrigerator.
I just fuked with kevins application and made it say that he does conjugal visits for community service
hey some people donate their time while apparently kevin donates his body
Just saw the pics from the bachelor party. When the hell did we go to southie. And why was there a chicken in the limo..? You guys really are my best friends.
No offense, but I don’t think I would want to see him in anything skimpier than a hazmat suit.
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