is it bad that i kinda- ok, reallyyy don't remember having sex with him last night?
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
You act like I was drinking alone...I had the entire Verizon network with me
sorry we overslept. have a good day at work. p.s. thanks for making it feel like my vagina got hit by a train.
I love when I'm alone in the house. It's like pants were never invented.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
so why was i the only one who woke up with ham stuck to my ass?
Haha jealous. If I could remember my dreams I'm pretty sure they would constantly be about being drunk in foreign countries
I have too much respect and admiration for my dick to put it into a situation where he could possibly be killed
Walked up in time to hear him say "you saw I was in a relationship on facebook? So why are you holding my nuts?" To her. That's loyalty man
So apparently we wrote "Lube Shopping" in Paula's diary on every friday for the rest on the year....
Thank you for FINALLY joining the Slutasorus Rex club in this conversation.
Great sex, the promise of us mixing our excellent genetics in the future, and access to drugs are mainly what's holding this relationship together at the moment
I mean, I introduced myself as "the after party". I think he knew early in the night he was in for a bangathon.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
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