told my boyfriend i was a virgin so he wouldnt feel bad since he is. now hes asking why his dick is so itchy. should i tell him why?
i don't see why you should, it's not like you told the other guys with the itchy dicks.
she woke up, said "please dont tell me your name, i dont want to remember it"
He told me I couldn't drink an unopened bottle of water he had in his room because that was his emergency bong water
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
I'm high. Everything has a 45° angle. That is as far as my eyes open
I've found a new low. I was climb-on-the-bar-piano drunk.
I'm in the fetal position watching the little mermaid and trying not to die. When do you come home?
Not saying puking on the side of a cab was how I imagined freshman year of med school but...
She told me she ate a whole pizza today, and I just wanted to hug her forever.
You know you had a good time when you get the wheelchair treatment in Mexico back to your cruise.
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I had sex in an engineering office last night. So that could be your life. I was mounted on top of a sketch of a future parking lot for a maintenance building. If that's not romantic, idk what is
You are an awesome peach made of glitter.
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