I think scott just propositioned me for sex
and thats when i went through the window and a shard of glass got stuck in my ass. the doctor said it was the best injury hed seen all month. i am a champion of life.
you might want to delete the history when you're done using the computer at work. did you ever find out what the white balls in your throat were?
dude sorry about putting my finger in your butt last nite i was wasted and thought it was mine
Acid is not a monday night drug
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
i may have reached my "but im high so it's cool" quota for the month.
Ssssssssssshhhhhhhhhhhiiiiiiii!iiiiiiiiiitttttttttttttttssssssssssssshhhhhhhhooooooooowwwwwww. Letters for emphaSSIIISISEEEE!
After a few mimosas, my mom started sharing her plans to move out of the house and into a retirement village so she can be the youngest one there and find herself a "nice old sugar daddy." Needless to say, break has not started off well...
I totally forgot about finals week. im the worst adderall salesman ever.
The bathroom smells like ribs. What did you do?
ps. i have two very important words to sum up my night
which are?
library sex.
Drinking wine while working. Yay.
Just had sex at the YMCA.
We are so productive today.
I'm currently hiding from this horrific thing that we call adulthood. If anyone needs me, I'll be smoking a bowl in the bouncy house.
I'm wearing men's underwear
I don't know what to do with that information...
Randomize
