Imagine two people making love on top of a unicorn . . . my life is the opposite of that.
It's 8:30am and I'm drinking.... this is a new low
We were naked in his bed when he asked me "what should we do?"
and all i could think about was how mcdonalds would not be open anymore after we were done having sex
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It ended with me crying and eating pizza in my closet.
tell that swedish kid i didnt take his shotgun. he GAVE it to me.
I just walked into my exam wearing a mans tshirt and Alex's size 13 crocs twenty min late carrying only a pencil and my heels...I'm not real
i probably shouldve stopped when i uncurled the curly straw in my cocktail because it was slowing me down
Vaginas creep me out. I'm disgusted by the look of them. I wonder if this is what having an ugly baby is like: you have to take care of it and love it but it just hurts you on the inside to look at it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
Sweet. I'm actually coaching my work study into a 4-girl orgy so dinner was kinda important. Yes, I'm the best boss ever.
I hate having to put a bra on before I go home cuz I have to pretend I actually went to class today
I'm tired of the topic. I sent him a pic of my vagina to change it.
Sex and bbq. He sure knows how to make a girl feel special
A lady played my boobs as if they were drums. It's been that kinda night.
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