yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
watching a depressing episode of spongebob while high is the most depressing thing i have ever experienced
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
You made eat vitamins until I threw up
look up what dreaming that you're in a lesbian relationship with a manatee means.
How do people deal with hangovers? I literally want to eat my own face.
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
The whole movie was ruined when some chick started laughing with what you could tell was QUITE the mouthful. This of course made the guy laugh harder.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
Lol I'm not having group sex with you, that apron is fuckin awesome tho
I was masturbating and a roofer walked past my bedroom window.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
also. when i get a car, the amount of space there is for sex WILL be a huge deciding factor.
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