I can't believe he cheated
Whatever. Anytime she has an orgasm, it's because I taught him how
We just walked into this party and immediately got handed a grilled cheese sandwhich....
I hope my theory books are in my locker, but if not, I guess I can always share with you.
Who said I want to share with you?
You've sucked my dick, I'm pretty sure you don't care if I look at your theory book.
How do you say "I'm not pregnant in Spanish?"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just saw two dudes run across the street carrying a mini keg and a scaled model of the empire state building. Missed this town
Euphemism? No, "pantsless vodka yoga" is a legitimate pastime of mine
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
the bright side of moving is at least my Tinder options will refresh
Happy hour crawl turned into power happy hour turned into tequila shots turned into I'm drunk in class on Cinco de Mayo at 7 am.
Well, I got drunk and told my family about what I expected sexually after a good first date.
If he doesn’t slap your ass with his drumsticks, then I don’t wanna hear about it.
He may be a manwhore, but he’s a very well endowed manwhore
That’s an important feature when it comes to a manwhore
Randomize