You just kept saying "I want my babies to look like you."
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
I just saw my first passed out person, sprawled out on the sidewalk like they died. I wanted to take a pic but I thought that screamed "tourist"
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
by the way- Brandy out of a doggy bowl was AMAZING
I can't take any time off so I'll be here drinking mimosas til I puke at home with my kitty
Can we make a sex game out of monopoly somehow?
I couldn't drink enough to fuck the friend, you said challenge accepted and stole some chicks shot.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
God if that man would just have sex with me every time I got mad life would be so much easier...
She's really sweet and cute, but when she drinks, she becomes way too proud of her bush.
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.
You need to stop showing people the things i drunk-text to you... i have a reputation to uphold here
Maybe? I'm not shaving my pubes for a maybe type of night.
I will literally have glitter in my crotch for weeks.
Randomize
