That's your vagina. No one goes out and burns it
i chose cheese fries over sex for the third time this week.
positive spin of the day: since my nose is blocked from allergies cleaning the puke this morning was much easier
I'm at the point in my life where I'm trying to get guys I've fucked to give a ride to guys I'm going to fuck.
oh you know, the usual stuff. getting kicked out of bars and sleeping in cars.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
You both sound like you need to get shit faced, fight it out, and have makeup sex.
Just got a ride from a stranger while walking a mile home as it hailed with no coat. He asked me if I smoked, then said he just made some potent cookies and I could have one.
The cookie was what I originally wanted to tell you. Always say yes to drugs from strangers
You're the only person I know that could get laid while visiting their grandpa in florida
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Her ex was at the party her housemates were having. He knocked on her door asking how she was while we were going at it. Turns out they were trying to work things out. Don't think I'll ever forget his face when we walked out of her room.
I bought a mink out of the back of some guy's van on my walk home from the bar yesterday
If I take one more surprise finger up the ass this week there will be hell to pay.
I made a separate snapchat account so I could swap nudes with a guy from omegle.
Why do all of your bad decisions sound like fucked up mad libs?
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
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