I realized today that the only reason you made out with Travis is because he has nice teeth
he was lying next to me and i saw him text "score" to someone.
There's nothing like vomiting in the restroom at work to remind you that you're not in college anymore.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
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He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
Yeah well my vagina has expectations too but they don't get met all the time.
I just remember being happy that I got that toilet fixed so I had somewhere close to throw up
I feel as though sleeping all day due to the effects of prescription painkillers paid for by union insurance made this the most American day ever for me
We fucked like animals and then decided we actually liked each other so then we made love. It's a match made in heaven.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Last night all you did was whine about how you needed something new and exciting
Is THAT why I woke up with dreadlocks?
The comfort of this onesie is keeping me single
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
I don’t mind that he’s uncircumcised. It’s the fact that he talks about the Bible immediately after we have sex .
Why is there a condom in my ukulele?
I just washed down my antidepressant with some pineapple wine. I'm the picture of mental health this holiday season
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