he just invited me over for the 3 p's...pepsi pizza and porn...I'm gonna marry him
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Eliza got arrested. What's the protocol on eating an arrested person's sandwich?
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Trying to guess which perfume the stripper was wearing based on my bf's clothes
but then the words kidney pain and possible testicle shrinkage kept ringing in my head
You promised me a handle of vodka if I took home her ugly friend. Thanks to law class I took for the 2nd time I know that's a unilateral contract asshole
I am in fact going to raffle myself off for a night. If you are interested in buying a ticket let me know. $10 a ticket.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We got buck wild in our animal onesies last night. You kept ripping off your tail in angry rages.
Names, who you're caught in bed with, both minor details
I lick assholes and I wouldn't eat mdma
so at target i bought condoms, on sale undies, pasta roni, and martini mix. the old lady who rang me up asked "honey are you a freshman?" yea lady i am, thanks.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
I KEEP THINKING INAPPROPRIATE SEXUAL THOUGHTS ABOUT YOU AND I AM SORRY.
Randomize