Prereq for being on nyc prep: money, bitchy, and a lazy eye... if only you were rich
im naked on webcam to her boyfriend, but im playing neopets at the same time, so its all evened out
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
I queefed so loud it echoed.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
I have so much shit FLYING through my head. They're all in magic carpets and everything
Just asking. Could've given you a lap dance in a sombrero, drenched in corona and tequila.
God Bless cinco de mayo
I woke him up with a blow job and he started sing "oh the USAAAA. IT'S GOING TO BE S BEAUTIFUL DAYYYYY"
Currently studying Econ, while waiting outside current booty call's residence for him to return from the strip club. This is your fault.
You don't understand. If you watched a video of the shenanigans that occurred in my life over the past 48 hours you would gasp worse than the girl who witnessed me puking in my bag at the children's hospital
How do you tell a woman that you are seeing that the scars on your back are from her awesome-in-bed little sister?
Good dick will make you do a lot of things… Great dick will make you consider buying a house.
While walking to class I was handed a red bull, condoms, and a mini bible. I love my school.
I always knew I would be boring and die in an Uber.
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