I hope you get used to having plenty of sperm because you're never gonna get any.
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I owe all of my success to double stuf oreos and weed.
this guy jus got head in a gas station bathroom from this fat chick with one leg
gross dude. was the guy blacked out drunk or something?
yeah and it only cost me 6 dollars
totally got the gold medal for the best fence jump when the cops came.
So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
Just finished putting caution tape around the tv. Sober me needs to prepare.
i should do something illegal before my birthday. as of thursday im old enough to go to jail.
Unless you consider jello shots food the answer is no there is no dinner here. When u get food get more wine too tired of you coming over drinking all my booze and destroying my vagina
And I can feel feelings now and they hurt
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
It's a 'fuck poison control' kind of night.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
My Mini-Van Handjob Milf is leaving the company. I need to find a new job. I can’t handle this place without those handjobs
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