There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
I mixed the ketchup wit the mustard in one bottle to save time making hotdogs
Dont ask, hes out back rolling around in the yard freaking out. literally just had a 15 minute conversation, only word i could make out was "yellow"
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
Can you explain to me later why there's a pirate hat in my bathtub
I didn't scare your mother by showing up on the roof, did I?
I received a letter in the mail from my ex equipped with a used condom,dirt, some hair, and a nude portrait of myself.
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
Dude, you were dipping oreos in vodka and asking people to try it, "It's so good!"
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I hope you enjoy this collage I made of you and me getting fucked up together
mom is telling me the setting in which I was conceived
did you know we used to have a pool?
It kind if looked like a strap-on dressed up for Halloween.
I just deff did the walk of shame.. His roommate/manager woke us up. A dog scared me on my stumble to the car.
This is why I'm single.
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